Reclaiming pleasure is reclaiming life
I had a love hate relationship with joy and pleasure starting at a very young age.
Growing up, I loved to dance, play the piano, get lost in painting and pottery…simply for the sheer delight of it.
I was naturally athletic, and challenging my body in new and different ways was incredibly satisfying and a deep source of pleasure.
Eventually, as my training as a competitive ice dancer became more demanding, I started to look for relief from the enormous pressure of the rigorous training schedule and high standards of my coach.
While, for many, that could have looked like indulgence, binging, chilling out, and rebelling against the strict regimentation…
For me, that looked liked reaching for something that could make me feel even more powerful.
That solution was more control.
And, the one thing I could control was my body and my intake of nourishment or lack thereof.
It didn’t take long for me to discover the incomparable satisfaction I derived from going without…
From not eating
From letting the hunger build without satiating it
From feeling the deepening hole of emptiness without feeding it
From exercising a willpower that was unparalleled by those around me.
This was the kind of power and pleasure I got hooked on as a young teen…
If you could even call that pleasure.
While it was definitely a source of pleasure for my mind, it certainly was not the case for my body that was being worked to exhaustion, while shrinking down to skin and bones.
Any kind of sensual pleasure from the neck down felt like a dangerous threat to the control that had become my #1 priority and something to be avoided at all costs.
If you’ve ever felt afraid of your pleasure and sensuality…
Or battled with your body as if it were the enemy…
I want you to know, you’re not alone.
The journey of healing and reclamation I set out on at age 14 has taken me far, wide, and deep into myself.
And, yet, the very first step is actually quite simple.
What I found was that fully accepting and being deeply loving to myself exactly where I was WAS the very first gateway back into my body.
It was also the most direct path back into my sensuality and pleasure.
Pleasure isn’t about power and control.
It’s actually a very deep letting go.
And, cultivating the depth of safety inside your own skin that is required to surrender, let go, and reclaim pleasure is one of the most self-loving acts of all.
There are so many practices and tools to reclaim your pleasure in ALL ways.
This is the work I do with my clients every single day…
Because your relationship with your body, with pleasure, with your sensuality and sexuality effects your entire experience of being a woman and of being in the world.
Reclaiming pleasure is reclaiming wholeness AND reclaiming life.
